After years of secret undercover research and multiple attempts at creating a lazer that will shoot through thick layers of fur...I have finally killed the infamous creature; better known as Bigfoot. He was lurking through my neighbor's (The Henderson's) trash can, looking for Sasquatch food, obviously.
I can only suppose that his intention were of ill nature, so without hesitation...I took the sucka down!!! When I approached him with my lazer blazer pistol, he let off an ominous roar that shook the earth, luckily I had on my Tony Hawk helmet cam to report my findings to the C.I.A.
Later research found that the monster was in an intense confused state of shock and it kind of sounded like he said "huh?" when I first discovered him.
So, ominous roar versus a confused "huh?" you decide. Go watch Strange Wilderness, a movie that ripped on my actual discoveries. My father was a cryptozoologist, he would of been proud.
Alright, you got me!!! I lied. So what? I guess someone has actually claimed to have caught Bigfoot, this might be interesting. I want to see the proof...and what's with "Searching For Bigfoot inc." I found that phrase "smack dab" in the google trends page and I thought it would be a blast to start a blog post this way. HAHA.
I'd like to think this is what Bigfoot really looks like.
Enough of our beloved and misunderstood Sasquatch friend. So, I originally intended to post somewhat of a sneak preview to the merchandise I have been designing exclusively for this website. Check out the photos below...remember, this is just a sneak preview, meaning; this is just a taste of some of the wonderful designs coming from my basement.
There ya have it, stay tuned for further updates on Bigfoot and www.johndarko.com merchandise. This is another random post sponsored by my late night delirium. You should try it.
Hope the cheap SEO tactics work. For all you unsuspecting visitors hoping for Bigfoot news, my name is John Darko and I'm a film-maker. Can you believe it? HAHA. Good night!
P.S.
For more serious conversations please see everything below...or to the right...there is a fancy tab labeled recommended reading, check it out.
Tags:searching for bigfoot inc, bigfoot, sasquatch, cryptozoology, cryptozoologist, cia, tony hawk, helmet cam, lazers, strange wilderness, steve zahn, justin long, jonah hill, john darko, random, hilarious, big-foot, discovery, pictures, urban, screenwriting, writing, google, film, review
